Oh,Yes it has been quite a roller coaster for me also. However have found,at last a better place, It is possable to have at least some healing.Still was and is not a easy jouney, I found that once I was willing and wanted it bad enough I was able to move forward. I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. Gods speed in your jouney.
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it is and has been quite a trip thru life, as last I feel that I am in a better place, it takes work and in my case a wife the was and is forgiveing and helpful. At last a relationship has gone right, messed up three.