Sexuality is a very strange thing and can be one of the most confusing things for survivors.
I have had similar issues throughout my life and still fight with urges for a longtime.
Myself, I have just learned to accept them and carry on with life. You need to be you and just understand yourself.
You have to look at yourself and the fact that you are not the only straight guy that has these thoughts. Especially with being a survivior of CSA in your background.
So DON'T put yourself down .. there are many others out here that have the same feelings.
Just as a help, here is a link to a sight that I found in the beginning of my journey ... that helped me a bit to understand my urges.
http://www.amsosa.com/unsure.htm
Take care man
_________________________
My Story : http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...4645#Post434645