I do not have conscious memories of abuse by my mom, but I know from my reaction to her and certain things that it took place. It is very difficult to deal with and has caused me to choose certain kinds of women over the course of my life, including my exwife, who with her friends drugged/abused/sexually assaulted me over a period of about 10 years. This kind of abuse is of the most destructive kind, not just because it is incest, but because it goes against so many of society's rules about how things are, what happens, what we will accept. I confronted ma and she told me to shut up. The power/level of denial it takes for the abuser to function is contagious to a child that looks to them for leadership and care. That learned denial to the point of total insanity and my inability to trust/picking terrible women have literally destroyed me combined with the psychological symptoms from years of physical/emotional abuse as a child and ASA. I have no means to cope with this, it's killing me.
"what matters most is how well you walk through the fire"