after nearly 40 years of marriage and a year and a half of therapy i am now finally starting to believe my wife when she says positive and affirming things about/to me. she used to get upset with me because i did not believe her, trust her, take her statements seriously.

part of what was so confusing was that one perp - the step-dad - told me i was useless and treated me like i was worthless. that went on for about 15 years. other perps treated me like i was special - the contradictions were something i couldn't make sense of. but the feelings agreed with the step-dad, no matter what anyone else said - maybe because he was the first. i wanted to believe the others - who told me/treated me the opposite - but never could. and it was obvious that they had their agendas and motives so whatever they said was suspect.
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As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago