after nearly 40 years of marriage and a year and a half of therapy i am now finally starting to believe my wife when she says positive and affirming things about/to me. she used to get upset with me because i did not believe her, trust her, take her statements seriously.

part of what was so confusing was that one perp - the step-dad - told me i was useless and treated me like i was worthless. that went on for about 15 years. other perps treated me like i was special - the contradictions were something i couldn't make sense of. but the feelings agreed with the step-dad, no matter what anyone else said - maybe because he was the first. i wanted to believe the others - who told me/treated me the opposite - but never could. and it was obvious that they had their agendas and motives so whatever they said was suspect.
_________________________
"That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. . . What will your verse be?" Robin Williams as John Keating in "Dead Poets Society"