I agree with a lot of what I've read here. I will say that my ego kicked my ass very badly when I was trying to get sober and it was ruf until it was dealt with. I see some of that in what I read. I could tell you my story, but it doesn't involve $, but the military, so you may not be able to identify. Let me say this; I alwasy felt bad about me as a kid and later (mostly because of things outside my control)and my answer to that was to totally throw myself into what I did, totally vicious to myself-I tried to just forget it and replace those bad feelings with accomplishments. What it got me was drugged and raped by my own wife and others I trusted, 2 ruined careers, lost all my friends, much of family, etc. It was there all the time, waiting. Not just the family of origin stuff that drove to me a relationship with a woman and people like that in my life, but the ptsd, symptoms, etc. I used substances too, then they didn't work anymore and it was very bad. It took dealing with that first. I've SOBER for 5 years, worked the steps with the help of a sponsor, service positions, etc. My symptoms got so bad again that I ended up a recluse, AGAIN. That's what brought me here, finally just yesterday. Does someone who comes from no real home with no real parents,physically/emotionally/sexually abused, moved all time, discipline problem, violent, etc that serves in 2 special operations units and more, gets a college degree with no help, buys home, etc in spite of all that shit sound like a VM to you? No, but there was a victim in there, driving some of that behavior. Its all still there, whether we like it or not,m in spite of whatever we accomplish. PTSD chemically changes your body and brain, rewires them, there is no way around it. I've had to give a lot up and I'm glad to be here. Not to be a dick, but some humility might help. Just my .02
"what matters most is how well you walk through the fire"