I did something last night that I shouldn't be so happy about but I am anyway.
As I was taking the escalator down from the train platform I was reading my iPhone, nothing from nothing. Almost the instant I hit ground level I feel someone shove me from behind. Hard.
"So what the hell is so important on that phone, huh? Is it REALLY important?"
I'm 6'2". This guy was 6'5" or more and his entire demeanor was fuming aggression.
Me: "Yes, it's really important."
Him: "Oh yeah?"
He shoved me again.
Him: "More important than the people walking behind you? You were just STANDING on that escalator like an asshole, me and like 12 people couldn't walk down past you and I even pointed out how fucking rude you were being to them! Kind of a douchebag, aren't you?"
He was shout-talking and keeping up with me as I walked away. It was nighttime in a fairly empty train station and my car was hundreds of feet away. This really was not good. Making matters worse... I kind of don't back down from people. I've lived through enough horrible bullying experiences in my early teens - and sometimes the workplace too - that I always respond, always escalate.
Me: "Why are you talking to me?"
Him: "What the fuck did you just say???"
Me: "Why are you talking to me?"
Him: "Well, there are lots of ways to communicate. I'm talking to you because it's that or smack you, and I'm thinking about that too."
Oh fuck this guy. Fusion-powered fuck him. My mind locked onto the first thing that was usually on it anyway and I called up my Angry Teacher Attention Bad Kids voice as I thrust my iPhone at his face.
Me: "Oh communicating huh? Well I'm communicating by email with my support group over how I GOT RAPED UP THE ASS BY A TEACHER WHEN I WAS A KID. DO I HAVE YOUR PERMISSION TO GET RAPED UP THE ASS AS A KID? CAN I PROCEED WITH YOUR APPROVAL? SHOULD THE GUY ASK YOU TOO???"
His eyes widened and his head actually bounced back. "Oh shit dude, I'm sorry, I thought you were looking for a bar or something, I--"
He sort of patted me on the shoulder, attempting reassurance / defusing the situation I guess.
I gave him my very angriest look and swatted at where his hand had just been, barely missing his. "DOOONT TOUCH ME!!!!"
Him: "I'm sorry, dude, I--"
Me: "Enjoy your night!"
And I walked away.
I honestly don't know why I added the anal suggestion, since it's a lie; it sort of naturally completed the "got raped" phrase, I guess. I'm sorry to the guys here who did suffer that if I misappropriated it or didn't show due seriousness - though I sure as hell wasn't joking. I was LYING. I lied about the physical damage and I lied in my reaction to his trying to make me feel better - I don't have touch "issues" and I was feeding into the victim stereotype in order to make him feel worse about himself, to impress upon him that he'd gone way too far and just really hurt someone who'd already been hurt too much and wow guy are you ever a fucking asshole huh? He looked horribly guilty and I hope he felt a million times worse. His facial expression and entire posture / stance and voice went from aggressive to submissive almost instantly and I've been re-watching that on a constant loop ever since, it was like I gutpunched him with two sentences and knocked the bully right out of him. I hope he was crushed by shame and it ruined his whole night, or weekend or more. I hope he felt every bit the obnoxious prick that he is. At least for those moments, he clearly unmistakably did. Scratch a bully, find a coward.
Though hey, maybe I did him a favor, maybe now he'll be less eager to pick a fight with a stranger on a train in New York and there won't be a stabbing or shooting someday.
So again, to those here I'm sorry I played into victimhood stereotypes and exaggerated my story purely to emotionally blackmail and bombard a guy with guilt, doubt, regret, and shame. I'm sorry if I contributed to bad stereotypes or treated someone else's violatory experience that I never experienced as some emotional ranged weapon meant to shock, disarm, and repel.
But it felt so good.
And he was asking for it.
"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny