Hd, your certainly right about women and creepy, even young women.

I was once outside a bar at about midnight walking back from a theatrical performance, a girl walked up to me and said hello, I then said Hi in a discomforted manner, she then came irritatingly close and attempted to physically grab hold of me, ---- frankly even if she hadn't! stank of cigarettes and cheap perfume (my trigger smell from my abuse as a teenager), I'd have been worried, I literally turned around and ran.

The problem is I've been "doing what comes naturally to me" for absolutely years now, and it has limits. I've made some good friends of both genders, but never anything more than friends, indeed from my own perspective I'm not convinced anyone! has been interested in being closer to me at all. physical affection seems to be part of this, especially if your male since one cultural thing which I hate! is that it always seems to be the man who must express his interest in becoming closer to a woman, while the woman has all the power to accept or reject. I'd very much prefer someone to ask me, but that doesn't happen, either because of the sterriotype, or because I'm projecting so much of a "don't touch me" field, or both.

I'd like to actually move forward with this instead of just being stuck behind the usual wall again, particularly because where none humans are concerned I am extremely tactile, get on very well with animals of all kinds especially dogs, and indeed very young babies for the same reason.

That's why I'm sort of trying to gain more information. I have as I said, a horrible recurrent nightmare, where I'm sitting and talking to a female friend, then suddenly I'm accused of commiting sa, and as someone who suffers extreme genophobia and even finds the word s/x difficult that is pretty painfull.


Where this came from is pretty clear, since all of these are things your supposed to learn in the socialization process as a teenager, however what I learnt as a teenager was anyone who touched me at all around my own age was going to do something deeply unpleasant, indeed on one occasion I remember the end of a computer power lead I was carrying came lose from it's coil and touched me on the behind, and I spun round and screamed "get off" before realizing there was no one there.

that is why I'd like to do something about this, especially in an environment where I am confident in what I'm doing in terms of singing and performing.