For me, depends on the family member, his/her part in it and whether any attempt was made by him/her to set things right...even years and years after the fact.

Adopted father (who I still lovingly consider "Dad") had no control over my custody in that era, eventually found recovery and, imo, did more than his best to make up for his "shortcomings".

Adopted mother (who I call the "mommybitch") never did, married a guy who participated in the verbal and emotional abuse, the two of them essentially delivering me to my perp, my high school guidance counselor. And she continues in denial, despite my having confronted her years ago.

I've come to understand her dynamic completely (the psychiatricl term is narcissist or NPD). But I hold her responsible no more or less than I'd hold any adult responsible for his/her actions...and, no, I most certainly do NOT forgive her.