Welcome TJONC,

I'm sorry to hear that you were so badly abused as a boy. Now to have that compounded by your parents betrayal (by choosing silence over your welfare), has to be so painful. Your anger is valid. Your mental issues are understandable.

But now is YOUR time. Consider making some distance with the parents, and above all taking care of YOU. If you're not seeing a therapist, look into it. If you're seeing a therapist but not getting anywhere, try another one. And certainly take advantage of the resources here.

You are among men who come from all walks of life, all ages, gay, straight and everything between. Our common bond is that we all have been through boyhood sexual abuse, and all have had to live with the resulting trauma. You'll find stories similar to your own, and men with feelings and issues that you can identify with. As well as some ideas about what has worked for others in dealing with it all.

When I got here, someone said to me that abuse happens in secret, but healing happens out loud. It will get easier to talk about it, especially as you see that you are no longer alone. Get off your chest whatever you need to, as often as you need to. We're always here, and we've got your back.

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan