I was in a relationship with a girl I really really loved, still do actually, but after some time when we started getting closer, I felt uncomfortable about it. She is quite sensitive and knew some things about me that Iíd never really told her. I canít even say that I didnít trust her, it just scared me to see her pity me.. Iím still not sure why. Maybe because I saw some part of me in her eyes which Iím not really ready to see yet. The way she looked at me sometimes, like she could see right inside me.. it made me get angry and shout at her, because I was so scared. I broke up with her some months ago, because it made me feel so uncomfortable and I felt bad because of me shouting at her when she actually hadnít done anything wrong. Iím still sorry for that, I guess it was just me and I wasnít able to cope with me being vulnerable.
There are friends who (roughly) know what happened and I can still talk to them and feel good and safe; with her it was somehow different.
Does somebody of you know that feeling? How do you handle this?
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If we're not entirely ourselves, truly in this present moment, we'll miss everything.