your own feelings are telling you what a courageous step you have just taken. i know it is scary - i have been there. but you did it. and now you are among friends who understand. you are no longer alone.
i can relate to nearly every detail of what you shared. there are variations - but all of our stories here are remarably similar in the devastating after-effects. for me it started at 5 1/2 and mostly ended by 13. but the repercussions have lasted for decades.
take your time and go at your own pace. don't over-load yourself or you will burn out. share what you can when you can and don't hesitate to ask questions - or feel free to just read and reflect. i'm sure you will find the same support, encouragement and understanding that i have.
hope to hear more from you,
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9