Welcome, Drummer.

your own feelings are telling you what a courageous step you have just taken. i know it is scary - i have been there. but you did it. and now you are among friends who understand. you are no longer alone.

i can relate to nearly every detail of what you shared. there are variations - but all of our stories here are remarably similar in the devastating after-effects. for me it started at 5 1/2 and mostly ended by 13. but the repercussions have lasted for decades.

take your time and go at your own pace. don't over-load yourself or you will burn out. share what you can when you can and don't hesitate to ask questions - or feel free to just read and reflect. i'm sure you will find the same support, encouragement and understanding that i have.

hope to hear more from you,
Lee
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"the scariest thing about abuse of any shape or form, is, in my opinion, not the abuse itself, but that if it continues it can begin to feel commonplace and eventually acceptable."
- Alan Cumming, "Not My Father's Son"