You've taken a big step toward recovery just by posting what you have here. Good job. Now run with it. Keep being open about it all. Get a trauma therapist and do recovery work. And keep reading and posting when you feel comfortable doing so. We're glad you found us.
"When I was a child
I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown, the dream is gone
And I have become comfortably numb."Pink Floyd