Hey Goran, hang on buddy!
It is difficult sometimes and it is no wonder that we are tempted and that we can't stay away from porn, please don't be hard on self because you couldn't stay away from it.
I'll tell you in short my story with porn. When I was kid I was very much loved by my mum, dad was not so often present and I missed time to play with him.
Sometimes my mum was angry on me and I was felt like abandoned if I've seen that she is angry on me. I didn't like it and I felt like she is playing with me, once she is my mother who genuinely loves me and sometimes not. So as kid I decided to stay away and closed for her and my dad.
Later when other boys touched me I couldn't talk to my parents what happened and even when I would ask something they didn't like my questions about sexuality and they would shut me down and I felt abandoned again and not heard. All that left some scars in me.
Many years later I started to watch gay porn and always felt like I'm doing something against my self but just couldn't stop. More years passed by and now when I've been felt alone, betrayed and isolated (like I was felt as kid) I can't stand those emotions. And than it is not much needed to think on porn as some source of pleasure that would help me to avoid those negative feelings, unfortunately it doesn't help for long and sometimes is more difficult later.
So when ever I'm tempted I know that I'm in some negative spot facing turmoil of negative feelings, many times other people are source of those emotions in me. For example if someone says so something very bad about me and hurt me I know that I could become challenged to see some porn later even I wouldn't like it.
But I'm trying not to be hard on myself when ever happen. I'm trying to see small and lost boy in me who is lonely and who doesn't know better way to fight negative feelings.
I'm trying to give him hug and to say him that everything is alright and will be aright.
I'm trying to give him some love and warmth, things that he needed the most.
So please try not to beat self because of all that, it is not end of the world.
You are doing a lot to stop it and get stronger!
You are very sensitive person and good friend.
Here is my warmest hug for you

(((Goran))) wink
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My story