I have started to realize just how insecure he really is ...
I think nice things about him all the time I just don't say them to him because I never realized till now that he needs to hear it.
I'm sure you are aware of the "inner child" stuff. Don't just see the adult. There is a fractured child in there.
I've said this on another thread. Go out and have fun together. Most of the time you end up living close together and it just becomes a part of life. And you can lose the sense of discovery and fun you had when you first met and started your relationship. Have fun. If you stop having fun together it makes it easier to lose the connection you have/had. And then the walls come up.
I don't know what to say. I am certainly not a good source for advice. I have a hard enough time trying to figure out me. (and then remembering what I figured out a short time later)