I feel as he heals in theory you will build a new past. The new past will be full of trust and honesty, and the lies and hurt will fall to the distant past. Given the distant past patience is required. Your feelings are natural and deserve to be addressed. Good luck! This is not easy on anyone. In the meantime make sure you are getting help too. You have also sustained trauma. I know for me we poured all our resources into making my husband healthy, my healing has been secondary. I don't think that was a good idea.