pittsburgh thanks for the kind words, thanks for making me explore this further. See youíre so right the sights the sounds all the little things, the smells, itís all so horrible. Itís why itís so easy to forget its why once we remember I think we torture ourselves 24/7; how could we forget; why? So now its again part of us the sights the sounds the smells in all its aberrant glory center stage in our minds scared that weíll forget again tormenting ourselves because we forgot, we betrayed ourselves by forgetting, who would want to remember any of this? Its days like yesterday days you want to forget, days where you remember more, another rape, another time, another place, and realize thereís still soo much more, itíll never end, days on days on years of being someoneís toy, remembering again the eyes of a little girl next to me who shared my fate, who fate took away, who I cannot talk to, dare not even think about asking her to remember, we shared it all in the past I could never ask her to share now, it would seem so selfish even cruel. Iíll always love her like a brother, I wish so hard for it be like it was, sitting on the porch our arms around other, just sitting in silence, hoping for relief, hoping so hard for a way out, and when it came it destroyed us, it made us forget, at least me, I forgot, Iím so sorry I forgot you, sorry I could never help you, sorry I was so scared, so frightened, sorry there was nothing I could do, sorry there is nothing I can do.

Again thanx, pittsburgh thanx

Cee

Gleeran sorry for hijacking the thread
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"it has never yet been discovered how to make man unknow his knowledge, or unthink his thoughts"

T. Paine