hi, Paul - and welcome!
i was 5 when it started, too - and for a long time did not remember anything. most of it has come back to me in the last couple of years. it's hard to know which is worse - not knowing - or having to face it all. if you are anything like me, some of the stories you read here may trigger your own memories - or at least resonnate emotionally - and help you figute it out. this is a very supportive community that i have found to be a major contributor to my recovery.
all the best as you begin your journey with us,
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9