While it hasn't been confirmed it is suspected that my husband was sexually abused by his great grand father after my husband's father got custody of him when he was a little under eight. Even his father was abused by the grand father and my husband's cousin. Once I found out that abuse was a possibility everything started to make sense.
I was having difficulty getting him to help me take care of our daughter, now seven months old. He never wanted to watch her for me or change diapers. One night we went to dinner with a bunch of his coworkers and I talked to one in the ladies room about him not helping. We picked on him that night but it was all light hearted. On the way home he told me her was afraid to change her because he was afraid of hurting her.
And the day before I found out about this possibility we had it out about him have patience with our daughter. It made mad because its something he should want to learn for our daughter but he refuses to. So I called his step mom, God bless her, and she came over to talk to me, that's when I found out this information.
He turns to alcohol when he's stressed, though he never gets out of hand with it, and he has anger issues. He was also diagnosed with ADHD when he was young and has trouble sleeping. He told about a nightmare he use to have frequently about being held down in his bed by an unknow force, and he use to scream in his sleep. He said he hasn't had that dream since we've been together though, but he wakes me up at night either whimpering or talking in his sleep.
He was also abandoned by his mother, who chose drugs and alcohol over him. He is very guilt ridden by this I believe. And I know the abandonment could have a lot to do with some of his problems.
Since the abuse isn't confirmed, should I ask him? I could some how make the conversation about our daughter. He doesn't want to get help because he was forced to see a therapist when he was younger for the abandonment and the ADHD. I want to help him in any way I can.