Anyone had this happen to them - with a parent - specifically mother ?

Yes. My mother was bi-polar, so when she wasn't yelling and berating me she was relying on me and confiding in me. Both sides made me feel pretty unimportant as a human and only valuable as an instrument of someone else, responsible for their happiness but selfish if I looked after my own.
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I come here now, and I see lots of anger.
I don't blame anyone for that. It is perfectly understandable.
But it is not healthy for me.
So I'm going somewhere else.

Goodbye and good healing.