So I have been through a healing process and I feel like a new man, I really do feel different, my thought processes and the way I see life is different. So why could my wife not see this, why did she not embrace me, this new me?
I dont know the answer to this.
What she said to me was that I did not put her first, I need to put her first, she needs to be put on a pedestal, I need to find balance and always put her first. Now whilst I can see her point, I caved under the pressure. I could not function under the unbelievable pressure.
I cry at the loss of my family, I sit here in a flat with sparse furniture and mismatched crockery, and I cry. I miss he woman I love, I miss the beautiful young lady that my daughter grew up to be. I go to bed alone and cry, I do love her, I do care for her, but this was not enough.
My only hope is that others can learn from the pain that I have endured.
The scourge of CSA runs deep into the lives of survivors and their families. It has destroyed mine.

Please partners get all the help that you need before your partner becomes a new person and his life changes and you now want payback. We need to learn to cope with this new life without wanting restitution. We need to draw a line in history and say that the past is past and we now live from today forward.
Dont be in a situation where you have a healthy partner, but you are not ready for him.

Martin
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