LFP,

I have similar issues. It's a tough one. It's something to handle on a case-by-case basis, and at the core of it is the question of disclosure: when do you tell someone that you care about that you're a CSA survivor?

Some of us here (not me) come to terms with their CSA history when they are already midway in a marriage or relationship and end up disclosing to their wife or partner as they begin to deal with this crap.

Folks like you and I, however, are in a different boat. If you find someone you like, my recommendation from experience is to delay disclosure until you have proven that you might be worth the trouble. As in, not on the first date or too soon thereafter... but if things are clicking and you want to risk it, then disclose.

Later is always better... that way you don't have to worry about distinguishing between kindness and patronizing.

Cant
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"There is a Catskill eagle in some souls that can alike dive down into the blackest gorges, and soar out of them again and become invisible in the sunny spaces... even in his lowest swoop the mountain eagle is still higher than other birds upon the plain, even though they soar." -- from Moby-Dick