Lee I have faith just not in a supreme being or anything like that, let alone any form of religion. I have faith in myself 1st and only, I have to, Iíve never been able to trust anyone, heck even on a certain level I donít trust my wife of 27 years, but I do know Iíll be there, whenever everyone else is gone Iíll be there, forever alone thatís how I feel, Iím finally ok with it. Without going into detail Iíve had many moments in my life that have forced me to reconcile my faith to me; I have to, thereís no one else just me. It just blows my mind how everyone here talks of therapy being the answer or meds or whatever, see I know Iím a bit paranoid, I just canít see it, I canít see how you can trust, how you can really believe what another man says about anything, for me the abuse was just the opening of a door of a lifelong of betrayals from my parents, even now my mom still tries to destroy me, how can I trust anyone, let alone anything I canít see or hear. My number of near-death experiences make the 9-lives of cats look small, drugs, car accidents, whatever, its brought me to faith, faith in the world, not the human world but the world of the universe, the atom, the concrete. Iíve been to the center of my mind; Iíve seen yours too, Iíve seen everyoneís, all our little petty problems, but unlike the blind followers, I know no god will ever save any of us ever, thatís not what a real god would do, its anthropomorphizing something that is neither like us or would have any reason to directly help us, sorry, anything else just flies in the face of reason and understanding of ourselves as animals on this fantastic little world we live on.
"When you're out of the blue and into the black."