Lee I have faith just not in a supreme being or anything like that, let alone any form of religion. I have faith in myself 1st and only, I have to, I’ve never been able to trust anyone, heck even on a certain level I don’t trust my wife of 27 years, but I do know I’ll be there, whenever everyone else is gone I’ll be there, forever alone that’s how I feel, I’m finally ok with it. Without going into detail I’ve had many moments in my life that have forced me to reconcile my faith to me; I have to, there’s no one else just me. It just blows my mind how everyone here talks of therapy being the answer or meds or whatever, see I know I’m a bit paranoid, I just can’t see it, I can’t see how you can trust, how you can really believe what another man says about anything, for me the abuse was just the opening of a door of a lifelong of betrayals from my parents, even now my mom still tries to destroy me, how can I trust anyone, let alone anything I can’t see or hear. My number of near-death experiences make the 9-lives of cats look small, drugs, car accidents, whatever, its brought me to faith, faith in the world, not the human world but the world of the universe, the atom, the concrete. I’ve been to the center of my mind; I’ve seen yours too, I’ve seen everyone’s, all our little petty problems, but unlike the blind followers, I know no god will ever save any of us ever, that’s not what a real god would do, its anthropomorphizing something that is neither like us or would have any reason to directly help us, sorry, anything else just flies in the face of reason and understanding of ourselves as animals on this fantastic little world we live on.

Cee