Sorry to say, December was pretty bad but I'm sticking with my goal above. I am not going to let this stuff ruin my Christmas next year, or any year after that ever again. I am finally going to start working with my new T next week on learning how to stomp out triggers and memories, so they no longer mean anything to me. He says we can get to a point where they no longer make me cry or hurt inside, and I believe him. We have to believe in someone to get through it I think. After that will work on trust, then all the fractal parts of me inside. I don't know how many steps are left, but one step down is one behind.