wish my Mom would have made it through the initial stages on to the healing part... Sadly, she has been stuck in anger, self-blame and innappropriate blame. Maybe I should have insisted we don't drop the subject forever, but really there is only so much anger and blame I can take. (Though this makes my Mom sound worse than she is, she just doesn't handle this one topic very well.)
Hope, I am a mum, I can tell you it is the hardest thing that can ever happen to a mother. And you know what is worse, there is no support for the mother - so she will wallow, and grope all on her own in the dark. Everybody is different, some strong and some less strong and we process things differently. It is not too late for healing for both of you - she can seek therapy.
I am supposed to be in therapy to deal with the triggers when they hit me big time, but I cannot afford therapy! So I grope in the dark, sometimes I just know I have to pray to God for strength and for direction otherwise I will fall apart.