the main differences i see in the past year to 15 months that i have been actively participating - is that guys have come and gone as their recovery progresses or they need to take a break or feel like they are not getting anywhere - or whatever...

i see many different names here than i used to - along with a smattering of the same familiar and well-known ones. i am both saddened and encouraged by both. it's good to know that those who need this resource are finding it. but it is sobering to know that they do need it - and why. it also makes me sad to miss some that have moved on - for various reasons. but if moving on means transcending a certain stage of recovery - that is so good! and those of us who remain - it's a very real and comforting feeling to have the company!

i have not noticed posts or threads generally expressing a different sort of content than earlier - maybe i'm less perceptive to that - or maybe it's that i naturally gravitate to the ones that speak to me personally and don't notice the others as much. i do know that i am originating fewer threads than i did when i was newer here and had so many questions and was dealing with issues and memories that were still fresh and raw. i do more responding than initiating recently.

i think there is a natural ebb and flow to topics that come up and trigger reactions from others and then subside. this is a positive thing in my opinion. like group therapy - where anyone with the same or similar junk can pitch in. i've been substantially helped in processing things by the discussions that i've read and then participated in - that i might not have thought about for who knows how long - without the outside prompting.

bottom line - i don't know where i'd be without MS and you all. and though we occasionally squabble like siblings - for me the benefits far outweigh the inevitable imperfections.

"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself... And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity." - Paulo Coelho