congratulations on your ongoing recovery from those addictions. hopefully, this step of talking about your past and the painful events will add to your progress. there are many here who can relate to various details of your experiences - myself included. the support, info, encouragement and comradeship of the guys here has been a major part of my recovery journey. hope you find the same.
They have greatly oppressed me from my youth, but they have not gained the victory over me.
Plowmen have plowed my back and made their furrows long.
But the Lord is righteous; he has cut me free from the cords of the wicked.