Could use some input on this from the more experienced guys.
After some false starts last summer, found an "intern" T who's my age, gay and afforable for me. Nice change after having only women Ts in the past. In some sense I get two for one because he's an intern and has a superior. Nor, being my age, is he naiive, overconfident 20-something.
He's made a few complete misses I take in stride because, for one, he's helped me consider – re-examined my journaling - that a portion of my fatigue may be more HIV-related (20+ years). Early on he also committed to traveling with me when/if I make personal testimony in any potential CSA legal action.
And he put me in touch with a colleague (DO) who directed me to a study of an advanced HIV medication for which I've been approved. Anecdotal evidence from previous studies of similar indicates this could be life-changing for me...for the next few years.
But the doc colleague has caused some problems. When I went to downgrade a script refill her office indicated they didn't have my addy or DOB on record. Huh? Red flag on ID theft since I live in a hotbed area for that. Immediately notified the T so someone else knew of the potential problem. In the past week a couple emails and a phone message to the doc with no response. Nor any contact from her even when the T advised her of it. I put a fraud alert on my credit bureau files.
In discussing with the T (who didn't charge me for the brief session) he indicated this might affect his professional relationship with her – they "feed" each other clients - and that we might have to end ours because of it. Fucking great. Thanks a lot. And just when I'm about to start new meds with possible side effects. He was also concerned I was ungrateful for the meds study. One has nothing to do with the other, imo.
Parallel I immediately drew, however, was with those who, because they do me a "favor" take it as license to be otherwise irresponsible or disrespectful. (Is that totally CSA or what?) He totally missed it and it's too bad because I feel it's something I need to examine.
Finally received an email from the doc's office email today indicating when the office manager had returned from medical leave my records, though secured, had been overlooked for computer updating. She's covering her ass. Didn't put her name to it, just the office email addy. Plausible deniability. I'll keep her as a fallback, but...
The T issue may be moot when/if we have another session. At the least I'd like to have a follow up to wrap things up. An opportunity to get real. For one, his closed-off body language (legs tightly crossed away from me, arms crossed) has been an annoyance on which I've given him a pass. Hey, he's human. Christ, I wouldn't like listening to other people's problems all day, even if I was paid for it. OTOH, as a professional he should be aware of his own body language.
I feel as if I've given him too many passes. Then again, I've lots of theraputic successes on which I've built and don't need, say, thrice-weekly sessions to figure it out. I just don't look forward to starting the damn search again. At least I'm in a major city.
Your thots? (Especially, too, if you're a professional)