Good topic Bewlayb. imo, you've handled the raw/wrapped issue well and your thinking seems real clear on it. btw, just friggin' excellent on the social skills. A success to lean on, imo, while you tackle this.
About testing (poz over 20 years here), it's not just HIV. Syph, hep and herpes can be devistating, too. I'd suggest those tests if you haven't and Hep B vaccine, perhaps even the HPV vaccine. Then again, I'm a human guinea pig and I'm USED to having a blood letting every 2-4 weeks!
Well, at least I don't pass out on the doctor's floor AS MUCH any more....
Anxiety and even anxiety about the anxiety, yeah, can screw things up (pun intentional). You've likely seen the posts about staying in the moment, not leaving your body, etc. If I tell my partner - who may have no clue about how it feels - will he now start concentrating on my erection more than spontaneous sex? Aw crap! If I'm thinking about all that, how the hell am I supposed to even begin to enjoy myself? It becomes a job (another intentional pun...don't stop me, I'm on a roll).
I get it.
Basics. Start with honesty about the ED. Knock down one wall to intimacy. Research and discuss with each other. Mygawd, too, if you're able, add humor. (I recall similar at one time with the love of my life. My line, "BAD Penis!" dissolved us in laughter, complete sillines, and well....)