Originally Posted By: bodyguard8367
{Me think you cute & carry you off he he he}

As usual, bodyguard, gave me a great laff! laugh You're such a BRUTE!

I don't have a LOT of male friends. I don't have a lot of friends period. My friends, however, are good friends. With some of them, yeah, there was the unavoidable scoping and that's, imo, just the way we're wired. Like bodyguard said, I can find other qualities to admire. (I don't have any women friends cuz I just don't get them...if that's mysogeny, so be it).


To qualify, in my gayborhood, the hotties are a dime a dozen and their brains worth about as much. When/if there's a conversation - rarely - I detach, look 'em straight in the eye and get on a topic that's not about their physical attributes. Having walked a mile in their shoes in my younger days, it became annoying to have to fend off advances, intentional or otherwise...and I respect that. Even today, there's sometimes some old guy - well, older than ME - who makes a grab for my ass and a simple, parental "Knock it off" puts an end to that behavior.

One thing that helped over the years were gay 12-step meetings where I got to know people as people, not bodies or conquests. Hugs and affection were usually completely non-sexual because the issues raised in the meetings were too important. Usually, too, a sexual comment from one of my brothers in those meetings is simply playful, innocent gayspeak. Yeah, it exists. ("Nice ass." "Thanks. It came with the body.")


Another qualifier. I've been poz over 20 years. Baseline before starting a new meds regimine was a CD4 of...46 (normal is 500-1000). Years ago I found it interesting that the testosterone measurement was on a similar scale. Haven't really had a libido in 6 years and I simply tell my poz brothers my CD4 and testosterone are the same numbers. They get it. No one else does.

Point is, it's been a blessing in some ways. Without much libido, I engage people differently.


Only suggestion I'd make, therefore, is to perhaps engage people you DON'T find sexually attractive. An idea?