I'm in the middle of a lot of stress in my life but one thing that popped up was an issue that stemmed from an argument I was having with my wife.
The stress I've got is job-related. I've been getting wound tighter and tighter while I wait to find out whether I'll have a job in March. Meanwhile, I have something else lined up but it isn't 100% and the other company is trying to see if they can hang onto me. Very stressful time.
All that being said, I've been feeling lower and lower - I snapped at my wife and son yesterday and we had a bit of a blowout. I realized at the bottom of it was that I was feeling vulnerable because of my situation and I was angry at her because the things she was saying and doing was contributing, unwittingly, to me feeling vulnerable.
When I step back and consider all the stuff I've been feeling with SSA or triggers, I realize that at the bottom of it, vulnerability, or the perceived lack of vulnerability, plays a big role. I'll get triggered off of different things - one of them being young and/or successful males who are going about their lives seemingly invulnerable to the things that weigh me down.
I'll do different things to build myself up (taking care of myself, working, side projects) but if my schedule doesn't allow me to do those things as much as I want, or if circumstances are threatening to me - I'll be in this feedback loop of vulnerability until I either act out, snap at people or things start to get better.
I guess this is a new thought for me and I wanted to throw it out to you. How do you handle vulnerability?
Thanks in advance.