I hear you. Part of the confusion has to do with UK politics and that "liberal" and "conservative" mean slightly different things there as they do in the US.
2ndly, while liberals are certainly capable of being pedos and involved in pedo rings, there's a certain sort of pedo that is also militant and hypocritical on an extraordinary level -- so outwardly and publicly "conservative" while secretly decadent and predatory.
Does that help?
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.