As a sober survivor, I am reminded that a drug is a drug is a drug...(and trauma is trauma). Each with its own set of problems.

In my own personal case, I am faced with this nature / nurture paradox. No matter how you slice it...there is a short circuiting of normal sexual development. For me this is not so much about orientation but the confusion it caused. I was robbed, of voluntary curious experimentation...(not to mention I also have trust issues).

I eroticized the abuse...for me this was a learned survival tool. I also got deep into borrowing skin mags, (unbeknownst to my father), that had anything to do with female domination...(which I have come to believe is another survival technique, (form of distraction)...just like fantasizing).

Perhaps, we have an original poor choice of words, at the same time I believe there is merit about discussing the underlying issues in a civil manner.

In the end, wishful thinking reminds of another coping technique. These coping techniques though they serve to get us from point "a" to point "b" don't seem really useful in the long run. It reminds me of a post many moons ago where I was advised to get in touch with and become one with the pain.

this is entirely opposite of trying to avoid your triggers, rather I believe you are embracing them as a way to desensitize and take away there power...(that day actually really sucked....but I am still glad I did it).

We can focus on motor and we can focus on the battery. but if we don't deal with the soul sickness or lack of spiritual energy that is required to heal us...we are really going nowhere in a hurry.


The World I Know (Collective Soul)

island
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Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine ~ M.F. Fernandez