Hello Elissa, I appreciate your saying that you want to respect other people's feelings about this being a safe place. You came into chat the other night and said "I don't see gender as an issue when your a survivor". Gender is in fact an issue for many here, a big one. It is a big issue because it relates to people feeling safe, whether they had a female abuser, or they don't want to be subject to or worry about stuff like political correctness. You should not simply disregard that. It's like you're saying: the rest of you really do not matter. I don't think that is what you intended, but that is how it could be received as that was my initial reaction. Now, I think maybe you don't understand yet how it could be received that way and are not being hurtful on purpose.
There are gender specific survivor sites for both male and female victims of abuse whether it's verbal, physical or sexual abuse. There are also survivor sites where people of both genders can go. I also believe there are many more resources for women vs. men, just a personal observation. Dudes are often treated like garbage too if they go to a rape crisis center, and with us, people sometimes assume a male victim automatically grows up to be a perp. I have never heard that assumption being made about women who are sexually assaulted. Those are some of the very gender specific things we face as males.
I'm not saying you have to leave. It isn't up to me and I'm kewl with talking to women who are supporters of male survivors, as they face their own challenges. I think you need to realize that to keep saying gender is a non-issue is a trigger for many here. It is painful to hear that for a lot of reasons.
Lao Tzu said: "When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be."