Originally Posted By: Ninja_Turtle
My situation is a bit different than yours, in that I am wired to repress by often simply not really feeling the anger in the first place, rather than by feeling it and holding it in as you seem to experience.
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When you're someone who has the anger driven down deep, as I was and still am to a large degree, sometimes there are even physical reactions that will interfere with your ability to get angry.
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As a child I'm sure that it was dangerous for me to be angry because it could have led me to do or say things that my abusers would have retaliated for.
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Anyway, I find that myself sometimes I dislike when people (with good intentions) tell me "Express your anger!", because it's so hard to get in touch with it. I can't imagine screaming or using a punching bag or those sorts of things. If someone tried to have me do that I think that what I would experience is an eerie calm, rather than anger, which I'm sure is again a defense.
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If not, another thing that's sometimes shockingly helpful is this. When I say something like, "I just don't feel angry, I don't know why I (have this migrane, can't relax, whatever)",


the parts i quoted above really speak for me, too. i may know i am angry or should be - but don't necessarily feel it. i feel upset and often shaky. i can't do anything physical or violent to express it. it is just not me.

what i can do is use words to express it. i can write it or talk through it. that is what helps - and as i have to struggle to pin down exactly what i mean - i start to realize what i am experiencing - not the stereotypical ways that other people recognize anger or demostrate it. my own method - but it works for me.

Lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago