I am so so so sorry that you know what it is like to have your brother use you that way too. To have him be your first abuser. And like everyone here always says (and I agree) there is no hierarchy of abuse - it ALL f#cks us up. However the thing that bothers me about him being abused as well is that everything he described to me did not involve physical touch - so why did he take it to penetration with me?? He didn't learn that from his abuse.
Thank you for sharing part of your story with me/us. It does help to know that I am not the only one whose brother did this too them.
I still find it hard to say that my own brother raped me - but by your definition there is no doubt.
I have forgiven my brother, but I still remember when I wanted to kill him.
Thanks for your kind words but I do not feel very brave - just stumbling along trying to find my way towards recovery.
PS I want to vomit too.