My wife walked out tonight, said she was glad I got abused (she used more vulgar language than that). She doesn't mean it, she just gets so overwhelmed trying to deal with it and felt like lashing out. But it hurt. So deep. Deeper than any other words I can remember. It was a worse thing than even anything my mother ever said to me. I feel like she was happier when I wasn't dealing with my past, and it makes me miserable to feel like the stronger I get the more unhappy she is. For so long she was my strongest ally in investigating my past and standing up for myself, but recently its too much for her and I think that makes her mad at both herself and me.
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"As long as the child within is not allowed to become aware of what happened to him or her, a part of his or her emotional life will remain frozen . . . all appeals to love, solidarity, and compassion will be useless."
-- Alice Miller