New to the site and am struggling with reconciling the "abuse" that happened to me at 12. It was by a person that is now a member of my family, it was something that happened when he stayed at our house for a week and we shared my room.
The thing is prior to 12 me and another kid in the neighborhood had explored we were the same age and it was touching each other. I should have said up front that I believe that I like boys and girls and have known I felt this way ever since I was a kid.
So the difference is when I was 12 the guy was 20 and for many years I have always looked at that week without thinking it was abuse that it was kind of the way we bonded while he was getting ready to marry into our family. We got closer that way and I felt like it was normal then.
Now I am not sure that I should be recalling those memories with fondness, he is still in our family and has always treated me like a brother, none of the things we did continued after he got engaged to my sister. We have a relationship and I consider him a brother in law.
I also have had 2 boyfriends that came about in my late teens and they were great relationships I was close to them and both of those guys ended up going on to meet women of their dreams. I have dated 3 girls as well and was close and intimate with them. I believe I don't have a preference each time i fell for the person not the sex and the intimacy we had in all of my past relationships was something I would not change. I have recently decided to embrace the thought of liking both guys and girls and am just trying to research here about if my identity has been formed or I am made that way.
I know that there are a million stories on here and most of them are alot more violent than what mine was, I don't believe anyone should have to be forced to do anything - and for that it may be that my experiences are pretty minimal but I do believe that if you are exploring and your past is different and involved adults at all that I can find some answers here.
Thanks for reading
Edited by wearytraveler (01/19/13 08:56 PM)