WFD - i just realized that i didn't answer the question implied in your post title - DID this count as child sexual abuse? i think you probably suspect the answer - and that is why you are here. look at some of what you wrote:
... last week I told my therapist(via email) about the first time I had a sexual experience as a child. I was about 3 or 4 years old ... I've had this experience in my head for as long as I can remember ... I'm not sure if my experience(s)counts as sexual abuse or not ... But it has affected my love life, as in I've never had a GF and I've never had sex even though I had the chance when I was younger. I've simply not dared to do anything to anyone. ... it involved an older friend of mine. My dad had passed away and I didn't have access to any male family members so I always went after older boys on the lookout for a father figure. I'm not sure how old he was, but I remember enough to know that he had hit puberty. ... I had a therapy session today(I go once a week) and there were more crying than normal.
i think almost anyone reading this would agree - this DOES count.
but only YOU can confirm it or not.
i know that this realization can be both devastating - and a huge relief - to have the truth out in the open.
i remember being in that "place."
the downside is seeing yourself in that light and having to make all those mental and emotional adjustments. it is very hard and painful.
BUT the upside is - that is exactly where healing starts. it is great that you are already seeing a therapist. and we are here to help...
best wishes for your healing journey.