One day after we had "The conversation" and him exploding in anger that scared me so much that I took my children in my room and locked the door afraid that he would want harm us and then himself. Yesterday he got hurt, and I took care of him, as I always do. And I asked him to sleep in our bed, because he was sleeping in the living room, so I could watch him as he sleeps to see if he would get a fever. We don't have insurance so he did not want to go to the ER.
I held him tight until he was sleep.
And today, before leaving for work, he gave a kiss.
I don't understand him.
But I am happy that he knows that I know about what happened to him. And that I am not going anywhere, as long as I can keep my sanity.
I don't know if he loves me, but I know he cares for me. So there is still hope. I feel very happy, today.