Thanks for the words of encouragement.
I think the driving has me the most concerned. I will just half to figure it out I supose. It feals like it will be exhausting. Maybe all things have there reason. I keep thinking just stay over night and brake up the drive. Could do a second session the next day before going home. That makes the most sence to me but this idea is not good for my wife. I will figure it out I am sure. One step at a time.

I think there is a part of me inside that is afraid of everything and every one. If is strange, I have learned a lot about my self in the last few months. I am afraid at times of this whole process and even the T. How can a compleat stranger be safe? But I have been preparing for this for 20 years. It's time.

I am trying to not think to much about it so the time will just evaporate and I will be going through it. Truth is my mind is working over time trying to control everything. I though I was past that. I supose something inside of me feels like this is a threat. Probably why this work has not been an option before now. But the difrence is I am not afraid of the fear any more. I hate it but I don't belive it can compleatly dissolve me like I once did.

Thanks again for the support. The strange thing is, I get unsettled, then I talk here and I feel much better. It is like my brain can now resolve things in a way that seams new for me. It must be the process of organizing my thoughts and feeling into words or some thing.


Edited by SmartShadow (01/17/13 08:43 AM)