Thanks for that response, Gary. My boyfriend does know about the abuse, but not the ED, or at least not the extent of it without medication. I think he would be understanding. I think I first truly realized I loved him when I told him about the abuse, and he was very compassionate, unlike my own parents, and unlike my ex. I just feel better with him not knowing about the ED, partly out of pride, partly because I don't want him thinking about it. I'm learning to enjoy sex. My attitude towards it has changed a lot. It continues to change. Yet, there is still this immense anxiety when it comes to the act. Since anything physical has pretty much been ruled out (my testosterone's good,) maybe all I can do is hope time and love will cure me.