Welcome, Mick.

there are lots of familiar themes in your story: partial and repressed memories, parental abuse, sensory triggers...

many of us have had similar experiences and can offer support and encouragement. my history included step-dad's unwanted attention from 5 - 13 as well as verbal until i moved out at 18. though i don't know details of your treatment, my recent life demonstrates that there is hope for a better life.

good to have you with us,
Lee
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"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself... And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity." - Paulo Coelho