Sorry to bump meow thread, thanks for your feedback guys, it was helpful to hear from you. In the last week, I heard back from the surgeon and found out I have Chondrosarcoma, a cancer of the cartelege and bone in my pelvis and sacrum. I can't help but feel like Job. I feel crushed. The abuse was not enough, but now in my 20s I have a cancer common to men in their sixties. The cancer is not effected by radiation or chemo and so surgery to remove the remaining tumor is my only option. Depending on where the cancer is and how far it has spread I might be facing major bone replacement, or amputation. I feel as though anytime I find myself doing well, Something like this happens. I just feel like this all isn't worth it. I have a good support system, which is acting as a fantastic barrier to my suicide ideation. I'm just tired.