Hi Everyone hows it going? My name is N and I am a survivor of sexual abuse.

I have just ended a two year relationship and my behaviour and actions in the relationship have made me start looking at what happened to me when I was younger.

I never wanted to have a victim mentality to let my wounds affect me but unfortunately I think it is, I don't recognise the face starring back at me from the mirror at the moment.

I saw a lot of anger from other victims and I guess I have moved passed the anger of what happened and wasn't sure if their company was where I was meant to be. I am not angry at what happened at the man that did this to me, I am just confused. I want to know what impact it is having on me know and how I can 'fix' myself.

I am hoping that by engaging on here I will meet some people I can talk with and with the anonymity finally be honest with people.

I am going to a support group but it is all older men and I am keen to find some guys my own age who I can relate to about this.

I hope that as others help me on my journey I may be able to offer my hand and words to someone else.

N