Originally Posted By: EagerLearner
Originally Posted By: love


How do you feel about never have spoken to someone you've known for so long over the phone? That's a long time!


Sometimes it makes me really sad that I've never even heard his voice. I used to get angry and frustrated. There are so many things that just can't be expressed very well via text. Sometimes we would have misunderstandings because something that was said was misinterpreted and that only fueled my fire making me wish we could just talk on the phone. I would keep asking and he would keep pulling away. He told me that I was making him feel like a jerk because he couldn't give me what I wanted. And I didn't understand why it was such a big issue to talk on the phone. I didn't like arguing with him though, so I tried to stop asking.

A part of me was hurt that he didn't seem to want to even hear my voice. I cared about him a lot and the things he said sometimes made me think he cared about me too. But I thought if he really cared about me, wouldn't he want to do this, what seemed to me to be, small thing? I think I'm starting to understand better though. I asked him tonight if talking on the phone made him feel like he didn't have control and he said it made him feel really vulnerable. I feel like I'm finally coming to understand.

I'm not sure if we will ever talk on the phone or meet in person, but I can say that getting to know him has changed me. I think it has made me a less selfish, more compassionate and understanding person.


It is likely that by texting, there is a level of disassociation over having to talk to someone, either over the phone, or in person. It gives a sense of anonymity, even though he is opening up to you. To actually hear your voice may make it too personal for him. He has trusted you enough to talk to you about his issues, but he may feel by speaking, you will be able to hear his hurt, his shame, and all the other negative elements.

It may just take more time for him to feel comfortable moving to the next step communicating with you. Just be patient and don't try and force him, otherwise he is likely to retreat.