Originally Posted By: nltsaved
So if you are raised by a female with no male in the hone you will inevitably have more feminine qualities about yourself like it or not . The same for a female raised by a male.

That is why the 2 parent home is vital there must be a balance. But in todays society this is almost unheard of and we are all paying the consequences .


This offends me as a gay male or rather concerns me. What do you think will happen to a child who is raised by two men or two women? Much of what "men" and "women" are is just stereotypes that have almost nothing to do with our biological makeup. Men can wear make-up and love theater just like women can have short hair and love sports. I can't stand constricting stereotypes like this. The only difference between men and women is biological and how their anatomy affects their psychology or the outcome of that person as a whole has nothing to do with whether or not they're "raised correctly" to BE a man or a woman. You are BORN a man or a woman, not raised to be a man or woman.

I think this is why this question was posed in the "Gay/Bi/Trans Survivors" section. As to avoid the stereotypical straight man descriptions that have been pounded into our brains our whole lives. And when we don't meet these specific qualities somehow we feel like we're "less of a man" or more importantly less of a person. This is a serious and real question to people questioning their gender, ie transgendered people, ie the "Trans Survivors" section. Of which I have posed this question to myself, and it is not an easy question to answer BECAUSE of how many things relating to gender actually have nothing to do with gender.

Originally Posted By: Chase Eric

That said, I felt like a girl during the abuse years - even when I wasn't with my abuser. Has anyone else experienced those feelings? It's hard to explain, but I never saw myself as tough or strong or big or macho as much as I desperately wanted to be so. I was convinced people saw me as effeminate despite acting the role of what I imagined a real man was supposed to be. And so I inhabited my childhood as little as I could - preferring fantasy instead. Most of it was spent trying to be someone I was not. My life was little snippets of humiliation, shame, secrets and self-reproach, floating in a sea of day dreams.


Yes I can relate to you. I never ever felt like a man (or boy) growing up, and to this day when I hear "Man" the first thing I think is, well that's just not me. I used to look in the mirror and wonder why don't I feel like a man? It causes me great confusion, I want to know why I feel this way. Is it because I'm gay? Is it because I could possibly be transgendered? Is it because I was born this way or something is causing it biologically? And why does it bother me? It's all a part of finding out who I really am. But most importantly knowing whatever it is, there's nothing wrong with not fitting the "normal" stereotype.


Edited by CloudyFalls (01/05/13 11:56 PM)
_________________________
"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein