welcome. so good that you are ready to post. keep at it. it really helps.
incest is a whole additional can of worms on top of abuse. it make stuff so difficult. glad that you are working with a therapist.
i don't have an answer for you to your question. but i want you to know you are not alone. for me it was a step-father who did most of the abuse - but mom was complicit. i too have very mixed feelings toward her.
keep working, and best wishes for lots of healing this year!
"That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. . . What will your verse be?" Robin Williams as John Keating in "Dead Poets Society"