admorris -

welcome. so good that you are ready to post. keep at it. it really helps.

incest is a whole additional can of worms on top of abuse. it make stuff so difficult. glad that you are working with a therapist.

i don't have an answer for you to your question. but i want you to know you are not alone. for me it was a step-father who did most of the abuse - but mom was complicit. i too have very mixed feelings toward her.

keep working, and best wishes for lots of healing this year!
"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself... And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity." - Paulo Coelho