welcome. so good that you are ready to post. keep at it. it really helps.
incest is a whole additional can of worms on top of abuse. it make stuff so difficult. glad that you are working with a therapist.
i don't have an answer for you to your question. but i want you to know you are not alone. for me it was a step-father who did most of the abuse - but mom was complicit. i too have very mixed feelings toward her.
keep working, and best wishes for lots of healing this year!
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9