welcome. so good that you are ready to post. keep at it. it really helps.
incest is a whole additional can of worms on top of abuse. it make stuff so difficult. glad that you are working with a therapist.
i don't have an answer for you to your question. but i want you to know you are not alone. for me it was a step-father who did most of the abuse - but mom was complicit. i too have very mixed feelings toward her.
keep working, and best wishes for lots of healing this year!
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago