Hey guys, this has to do with PTSD and simply walking out on bad situations. There are two parts to it.
Early in my codep recovery, I learned to set personal boundaries and stick to them. It helped considerably. People who were arrogant, bullying or otherwise disrespectful to me didn't last too long around me. That went for various parents and family who had been abusive, some acquaintances and some clients. Many years later that's mostly a good thing and, for me, a positive form of exercising some control over my life.
Having just been diagnose by my T with PTSD in the past year I've come to realize I'm good at it because it dials down the noise of dealing with others' issues. (Frankly, when I was young, having experienced multiple divorces as an only child, I felt most at ease and most into my creative mojo by myself). I'd really enjoyed, however, group sports prior to the CSA. Even as an adult, I'd particularly enjoyed my 12-step Al-Anon/codep groups and even a running club, though not the petty cliques that sometime formed.
In short, my tolerance for bullshit is short. But it's felt balanced. There's stuff I can't do anything about...bad drivers, rude store clerks, etc. Whatever.
I recently blew off a friend of ten years experiencing a codep mid-life crises for a year-and-a-half with a crack head. Got sick of listening to it. And I'm impatient when my biological mother – a codep herself – hovers, worries incessantly about things she can do nothing about, and hooks into everyone's personal "disasters". She knows I won't listen to it.
Professionally, though, I'm wondering. With nary a second thought, I've dumped slow-pay clients or those who have meltdowns unrelated to the project at hand. And, yeah, that hurts income. But I feel as though I can't get through to people like that. They're completely unresponsive and unwilling to act reasonably. Win-win is a mystery to them. Rather than stress out, I walk out.
Here's the second part. I've recently dumped two sites I've used for 7-10 years for photo sales because their screeners have made irrational technical or "policy" demands directly contradictory to images already in the databases. Some have engaged in snotty, juvenile behavior which is ignored by the administrators. You know how a gang of high school girls acts? That' s pretty much it. Therefore, in the past month, since I can't do anything about them, I dumped them both. I have to admit to myself, that's gonna hurt my Interweb presence.
What bothers me – though it may be the economy – is that in all these cases, personal and professional, there isn't much that comes in to fill the space created. Perhaps I'm just impatient.
A couple questions. For those of us with PTSD, sound like you? And how much bullshit do people normally tolerate?
"The Answer to the Great Question Of Life, the Universe and Everything Is...Forty-two."