Sorry I am late to the game. But, I second Esposa. At some point you have to ask yourself whether you want the hurt to rule your life. I did for a year. Albeit I also lost 20 pounds thru intense physical exercise (sublimation, I know), but a short term cure does not a long term reconciliation make. And it's hard to even think about reconciliation when you plagued by both the pain of betrayal and desire to see your partner thru what is obviously the toughest thing they will ever face.
Honestly, and this sounds a little crazy, but primal scream therapy did wonders for me. I am not a cryer. I hold everything in. I went out into the wilderness with a group and screamed and cried until I could scream no more and it was the most cleansing and transformative experience of my life.
When I couldn't even think about another tear or another sound coming out of my body, all the white noise disappeared and I was able to be silent, evaluate my options and make some decisions.
I was hurt. To some extent, I will always hurt. But I chose to not let it define me any further. I chose to rebuild. And that's what you need to decide, whether it is worth it to try and rebuild with your partner or without.
Either way, we are here for you. We can help rebuild you. We have the technology. We can make you better than you were before. Better, stronger, faster...!
Sorry, obviously feeling nostalgic for some 70s TV