My wife says (and previous girlfriends have said) or had problems with:
-intimacy or my lack of it
-i don't like sex or being naked, i think it's gross and i feel a lot of dread and shame and guilt
-it's hard for me to be nurtured or let someone else nurture
-i have trust issues and i think people are going to leave
-i have a different definition of love
-i used to use drugs and alcohol
-i don't pay attention to my body, i don't really feel pain or are very aware
-i get frustrated, but i don't cry
-i have lots of anxiety and panic attacks
-i get overwhelmed by touch
-most of my relationships don't work out and i don't have many friends
-even when i'm in a relationship i feel like i'm meant to be alone
-i feel repulsed when my wife wants me, even if it's just emotionally
-i'm repulsed by sex, unless i'm on drugs
-sex and aggression are connected in some ways
-i prefer short term, anonymous sex, like one night stands

i would post more but this is exhausting. i'm going to bed. thanks for the feedback.